Tag-Archive for » self-observation «

Make me a victim.  I’m hungry, so put it in my mouth.  Yeah, force my head by my hair like that.  God, I can’t breathe.  Your penis is like an ice pick.  Why am I not dead?  Instead, I’m going to cum?  Unbelievable shame nearly drives me mad

to this day. I open up my

fucking cunt.  I’m bleeding.  What an ugly side of existence.  I’m just a little girl.

I wish, anyway.  I’ll never be

except in ways that keep my

ugly side from sight.

I think it’s more valuable to write about how I see the world because of what’s happened to me.  In writing a rape survivor’s narrative, I forgot to give a rape survivor’s perspective.  I forgot myself.

Why do I feel so certain nothing I could possibly think of writing is worthy of even an iPhone note?